In the vast tapestry of human experience, connection serves as the golden thread that binds us together. From our earliest tribal ancestors to modern-day societies, the yearning for connection has remained a fundamental aspect of our existence. Yet, amidst this longing, we often find ourselves drawn to those who mirror our beliefs, values, and ways of being. But why?
What we see commonly is this - we're going through this dance of let me tell you I'm right & you can tell me you're right : we'll agree on the same stuff. And then we walk away with having stroked our egos but we haven't really connected.
We must understand that truth is an ever evolving thing. And there may be many perspectives on the same principles of truth. And there is never really one truth. And all you need to focus on is what is true for you and your life.
The Tribal Roots of Connection:
To understand our propensity for seeking similarity, we must journey back to our primal roots. In the days of tribal living, survival depended on banding together, sharing tasks, and identifying common enemies. Disagreement signaled potential danger, as it could indicate affiliation with rival tribes seeking dominance over resources.
In this context, similarity equated to safety. Those who shared our beliefs and customs were deemed trustworthy, while those who differed posed a threat to our survival. This instinctual response, deeply ingrained in our collective psyche, continues to influence our social dynamics today.
The Evolution of Connection:
As humanity evolved, so too did our understanding of connection. With the advent of civilization and the development of complex societies, the need for rigid conformity lessened. However, remnants of our tribal past lingered, shaping our interpersonal relationships and social structures.
Today, while physical survival is less precarious, our egos remain sensitive to perceived threats. Disagreement, instead of posing a physical danger, challenges our sense of self and identity.
We instinctively seek validation from those who affirm our beliefs, fearing rejection or ostracism from those who do not.
The Illusion of Uniformity:
In our quest for validation and belonging, we often gravitate towards homogeneity, surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals who echo our thoughts and sentiments. This curated environment, while comforting, fosters an illusion of uniformity that stifles growth and limits our understanding of the world.
Imagine a garden where only one type of flower blooms—a symphony of colour and diversity replaced by monotony and sameness. While each flower may be beautiful in its own right, it is the harmonious interplay of diverse blooms that truly captivates the senses and enriches the landscape.
The Power of Reframe:
But what if we were to reframe our understanding of connection?
What if, instead of seeking validation and affirmation, we embraced diversity as a source of enrichment and growth? Just as a mosaic is composed of disparate pieces, each contributing to the beauty of the whole, so too are our relationships enriched by the diversity of perspectives and experiences they encompass.
Imagine a tapestry woven from threads of every hue and shade—a masterpiece of intricate design and exquisite beauty. Each thread, though unique, contributes to the richness and depth of the final composition, creating a symphony of colour and texture that transcends individuality.
Embracing Authentic Connection:
Authentic connection transcends agreement and validation. It is rooted in mutual respect, empathy and understanding—a recognition of the inherent worth and dignity of each individual, regardless of their beliefs or perspectives.
Picture a gathering where voices from every corner of the room are heard and valued—a chorus of diverse opinions and experiences coming together in harmony. In this space of openness and acceptance, true connection flourishes, fostering empathy, compassion, and mutual growth.
The Path Forward:
As we navigate the complexities of human connection, let us embrace diversity as a source of strength rather than division.
Let us cultivate spaces where voices of every hue and shade are welcome—a tapestry of authentic connection woven from the threads of our shared humanity.
In the words of poet Maya Angelou, "We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter their colour."
Imagine : we have this wonderful thing of actually, if we understand that we are spending time together its because we enjoy bathing in each other's auras. You tell me the things you think and I won't feel pressure to agree with them or take them on or validate you for them.
I'm just curious to witness your essence because it is no threat to me.
You have a different set of gifts, different set of strengths, a different set of everything.
And I can simply be there and watch it/enjoy it. Because I've also built up my own.
Knowing of who I am,I know that when you show me a difference.. I don't need to go into that story of - 'that means I have to be like you' or 'that means you have to be like me or one of us is wrong' ..so I'll either judge you or criticise myself when I come away from that -- it's a very freeing way of having a conversation. And not only that, you actually then feel connected to the person who's in front of you instead of just having your egos dance with each other for a temporary moment and then you leave feeling empty sometimes, even though you feel like 'wow, I actually really do like that person.'
In closing, let us remember that true connection knows no boundaries—it transcends race, religion, politics and ideology. I hope something inside you gives you permission to look at everything from a bird's viewpoint - its beautiful from up there.
Together, let us embark on this journey of authentic connection, embracing diversity as our greatest strength and forging bonds that transcend the limitations of ego and fear. For it is our differences that make us truly beautiful.
Sending love,
Savvi