Why Rest Feels Unsafe (and what no one told you about it)

This blog is dedicated to all my past, present and future female patients.

I hope you'll find this useful.

We live in a world that rewards masculine energy, structure, logic, productivity, control and while those qualities do serve a purpose, living in that energy 24/7, especially as a woman, disconnects us from the very part of us that creates life, the part that heals.

Feminine energy is cyclical. It is intuitive, fluid, receptive, slow moving.

It knows how to be, not just do, but most of us were never taught how to embody that.

Instead, we were taught to push through pain, to control outcomes, to ignore our cycles, to treat our bodies like machines instead of the living, breathing sacred system it is.

We’ve been taught to override ourselves.

To push through discomfort.

To ignore our cycles.

To pride ourselves on how much we can carry .. without asking for help.

We learned early that consistency, logic, productivity and control were rewarded.

And for a time, those qualities served us. They helped us survive. They helped us belong. But somewhere along the way, many of us began to lose touch with a quieter, deeper part of ourselves - the part that 'feels' instead of fixes, 'receives' instead of rushes, and 'heals' instead of hustles.

So what happens when we live this way, in constant override?

Our hormones become unpredictable. Our energy crashes. Our sleep suffers. We become irritable, disconnected ~ from ourselves, from others, from joy.

Because a body that doesn’t feel safe will always prioritise survival over creation.

And survival mode is not fertile ground. It is not where ovulation thrives. It is not where deep rest or love or healing begins.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t need to earn rest.

You don’t need to wait for burnout to begin listening.

You don’t need to justify softness with productivity.

You are allowed to live in tune with your design.

And you are allowed to redefine what strength looks like.

Start Here: Three Ways to Return to Yourself

 A. Reclaim your rhythm

Your body already holds the map. Begin tracking your cycle - not just for fertility or health, but for self-awareness. Notice what feels natural to do during different phases of the month.

Rest more during your bleed. Be gentle with your energy in the days leading up to it.

Harness your clarity and creativity when it arises - but don’t force it when it doesn’t.

The more you sync with your inner rhythm, the more life begins to feel like flow instead of friction.

 B. Embrace the pause

In a world that idolises the grind, stillness can feel almost rebellious. But the pause isn’t emptiness - it is restoration. Just five minutes of intentional stillness a day can change everything.

7 Simple Pauses That Shift Everything

1. 

Set a Reminder to Pause

Every couple of hours, let your phone remind you to stop. Just for a minute. My client did this twice a day for five minutes - and within a week, she noticed her jaw had softened, her shoulders felt lighter, her sleep returned, and her mood finally stabilized. That’s the quiet power of stillness.

2. 

Breathe Intentionally

Try this simple breath pattern:

Inhale for 4 seconds

Hold for 2 seconds

Exhale for 6 seconds

Repeat a few times. It calms your nervous system and anchors you instantly.

3. 

Scan and Soften Your Body

Close your eyes and gently scan your body from head to toe. Notice where you’re holding tension. Use your breath to soften those areas. This awareness alone can shift how supported you feel in your own skin.

4. 

Self-Hold for a Moment

Wrap your arms around yourself. Hold.

Just for a minute or two.

It’s one of the most grounding things you can do.. reminding your nervous system that safety lives within you.

5. 

Feel the Ground Beneath You

Place your feet flat on the floor.

Notice how the earth holds you.

Let that support sink in - through your soles, into your cells. You can also lie down and feel the ground cradling your whole body.

6. 

Whisper a Calming Affirmation

Repeat something simple but true:

“I give myself permission to rest now.”

Let the words land. Let them soothe the parts of you still holding on too tightly.

7. 

Engage the Senses

Look around. Listen.

Feel the air on your skin.

Notice the texture of your clothes, the temperature of the room. Let presence be enough.

You don’t have to do more.

You just have to remember: you’re allowed to be.

 C. Follow the spark

Forget what you were told femininity is supposed to look like. This isn’t about fitting into a mold or following outdated ideas of what feminine should look like..like wearing pink floral dresses or a face full of make up - although if that brings you joy - do it. This is about noticing what makes you feel alive. What excites you..even just a little. What makes you lose track of time.

Start choosing those things more often.

Let your curiosity lead.

Let joy become a compass, not a reward you earn after exhaustion.

Bashar said, “Follow your highest excitement.” Not the biggest, boldest dream.

Just the next right spark. Even if it’s choosing a cup of tea over one more email.

When you are faced with a choice A or B, ask yourself - which one excites me more, even just.a little bit? Then go ahead and do that because living in alignment with your joy is one of the most magnetic things you can do.

These tiny choices signal to your body: joy is safe here. Pleasure is allowed.

And over time, those little yeses change everything.

And what about the part of you that thrives on structure, logic, and certainty?

Your inner masculine..regardless of gender.

It is still welcome. It’s not the enemy. In fact, it is essential.

Your inner structure gives shape to your softness.

Your logic holds space for your intuition to rise. When both energies within you are honored .. one no longer overpowering the other - you begin to feel steady and spacious. Directed and surrendered.

Powerful and at peace.

Perspective shift:

Are you someone who likes quick fixes for your health concerns? Please read on.

When we reach for quick fixes, it's like taking the batteries out of a fire alarm because we're annoyed by the noise, instead of putting out the actual fire.

The alarm isn't the problem. It is pointing to the problem. 

It is loud and uncomfortable on purpose, because it's trying to get you to act.

Just like acne, irregular periods,PCOS and PMS are pointing to a deeper imbalance in the body, and they're uncomfortable on purpose too.. it's your body waving a red flag asking you to pay attention. 

We want to get curious about these signals, not silence them. This is your body communicating with you, and that's something to be grateful for, because awareness is the first step to true healing.

Another trend I’ve noticed is relying too heavily on supplements. Wellness doesn't mean more supplements and more interventions always.

Sometimes, 'wellness' is about causing less harm and understanding what works for your system or what does not.

Everyone on social media is going to make you think that you need all the supplements to heal, and that couldn't be further from the truth. (Don't get me wrong,I am not against taking supplements - I take Vitamin D & Magnesium daily)

Much like pharmaceutical drugs majority of the supplements (not all) are just another band aid, a prettier, fancier Band Aid. They mask the symptoms, but hardly ever do they actually get to the root of the problem. Many of them are made with synthetic compounds that put unnecessary stress on the liver & kidneys , disrupt your natural processes and have poor absorption rates, as they do not contain the necessary cofactors and enzymes needed for proper absorption and utilisation. 

And instead of supporting the body, they force it into action, which only adds more stress and slows down your own body's ability to heal naturally. For example, when you feed your body a hormone - more of that circulates in your blood stream - signaling the original source to shut down production & over a period of time, you end up paying the price for not allowing your own body to heal naturally. This isn't applicable to every supplement or micronutrient/hormone.. sometimes it becomes essential to take regular additional drugs (eg: Thyroxine).

The point is : blanket treatment with absolutely everything that is shown or suggested must be avoided as each of us have a unique design and what works for one person may cause problems for another.

The solution isn't in popping pills, but in addressing the root causes of your imbalances so your body can heal from within. 

Book recommendation: Metaphysical Anatomy by Evette Rose

(This book is an excellent reference book that I have been using for several years which drives home the connection of altered emotional states being the primary cause of physical disease)

Please do not hesitate to reach out if you need more clarity.

If anything you’ve read has resonated with you &  if you're feeling called to go deeper - looking for personalised one on one support on your wellness journey, I'd love to connect with you.

You can book a consultation with me by going to my website DrSavvi.com to see if working together would be a good fit.

Sending love,

Savi