Grief = Unspent Love

What is grief?

This is what I think it is : All the love you didn’t get to give, still alive inside you.

Grief isn’t always loud.

It doesn’t always look like mourning clothes or tears.

Sometimes, it shows up in silence… in longing… in the ache of what could’ve been.

Someone is grieving a job they poured their identity into.

Another is grieving the person they thought they’d grow old with.

Some grieve a past version of life - simpler, softer, less overwhelming.

Many are grieving the loss of who they used to be, not yet fully landed in who they’re becoming.

They’re in the in-between. And that space? It hurts.

Some are grieving the body that once felt beautiful, strong, or pain-free.

Others are grieving the kind of joy they see on screens but can’t seem to feel.

And many women ..quietly, fiercely - are grieving dreams of motherhood,

while others grieve the guilt of not being able to show up fully for the children they do have.

But here’s the thing:

Grief doesn’t always get space in the world we live in.

We’re taught to look okay.

To smile.

To post the highlight reel even when we’re falling apart inside.

What a heavy load to carry your pain .. and pretend it doesn’t exist.

So I want to say this gently, but clearly:

What you’re feeling is real.

You don’t have to announce it to the everyone - but you don’t have to silence it either.

You deserve a place to feel.

To name what’s hurting.

To soften the grip of pain without shame.

And would you believe me if I said ~

sometimes, just one safe conversation…

one loving reframe…

can begin to change how you think, how you feel, how you experience life?

You’re not alone.

Not in this. Not ever.

And if you’re grieving… here’s how to begin feeling just a little bit better (without needing to be “okay” right away):

• Let it move through you.

Grief isn’t meant to be solved ~ it is meant to be felt. Don’t rush it. Let your body cry, ache, go quiet. That’s healing, not weakness.

• Speak to it.

Write a letter to the version of you that’s hurting or to the thing/person/hope you’ve lost. Sometimes clarity comes not from fixing - but from acknowledging.

• Find safe company.

Not everyone knows how to hold grief. But someone will. One person who listens without trying to change you, can make all the difference.

• Feel it in layers.

You don’t have to heal all at once.

Just ask yourself: What does today need? Maybe it’s tea. Maybe it’s tears. Maybe it’s a walk in silence.

• Turn the love inward.

Grief is unspent love. What if you began to redirect just a drop of that love back to yourself? Back to the parts of you still here?

• Reframe “moving on” to “moving with.”

You don’t have to leave your grief behind. You can carry it gently, like a memory, not a weight.

• Make space for meaning.

It won’t come right away ~ but in time, grief often transforms. Into wisdom. Into depth. Into the way you love others more deeply than before.

There is no shortcut through grief.

But there is softness.

There is gentleness.

There is the quiet miracle of feeling a little more whole than the day before.

You don’t need to get over it.

You only need to get through it.

And you don’t have to do that alone.

Much love,

Savi